How to Rebuild Respect With Your Emerging Adult

Someone needs to hear this, so I’m going to say it clearly:

You cannot expect your kids to respect you if you haven’t shown them respect.

That can be hard to hear because many parents I talk to feel deeply disrespected by their emerging adult.

They’re being talked back to, ignored, dismissed, and sometimes even called names.

And the question they’re asking is:

How do I get my child to respect me again?

A Different Question to Ask

Instead of starting with, “Why are they disrespecting me?” I want you to start with a different question:

Have I shown them respect?

Not just recently, but over time.

Because respect isn’t something you demand in a moment. It’s something that is built or broken through repeated interactions.

What Respect Looks Like to an Emerging Adult

Respect isn’t just about tone of voice.

It’s about how your emerging adult has experienced you over time.

Have they felt:

• Heard, even when you disagreed?
• Spoken to like a human being, not managed like a child?
• Allowed to have their own thoughts, opinions, and pace?

Or have they experienced:

• Being talked down to
• Being corrected constantly
• Being dismissed or minimized

If an emerging adult hasn’t felt respected, it’s not uncommon for them to reach a point where they think:

“I’m an adult now. I don’t have to keep doing this.”

And that’s when respect breaks down even further.

Respect and Trust Are Built the Same Way

Respect works the same way trust does.

It’s built in small moments over time.

Not in one conversation.
Not in one apology.
And not in one boundary.

It’s built through:

• How you respond when they’re struggling
• How you speak to them when you’re frustrated
• How you handle disagreement

Consistency matters more than intensity.

What to Do If You’re Feeling Disrespected

If you’re feeling disrespected regularly, I don’t want you to stay stuck in blame toward yourself or your son or daughter.

I want you to get curious.

Ask yourself:

• Have I been speaking to them with respect?
• Have I been responding calmly, even when I’m frustrated?
• Have I been treating them like an adult in how I communicate?

This isn’t about guilt.

It’s about awareness.

Because awareness gives you the ability to shift.

Moving Forward

You don’t need to have been a perfect parent to start changing the relationship.

What matters is how you show up now.

When parents begin to communicate with respect, hold boundaries calmly, and treat their emerging adult like an adult, something begins to shift.

Not instantly, but over time.

Respect grows in relationships where it is consistently modeled.

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

If you’re navigating disrespect, tension, or disconnection with your emerging adult, you’re not alone.

This is one of the most common challenges parents face at this stage.

Inside my Empowered Parents of Emerging Adults group, we work on exactly this, how to rebuild respect, improve communication, and create a healthier adult-to-adult relationship.

👉 Join the Empowered Parents of Emerging Adults group for guidance, support, and practical tools.