Stop Dusting Them Off: Why Your Emerging Adult Needs to Struggle
Jun 09, 2025
When your emerging adult stumbles, it’s instinctual:
You want to rush in.
To help.
To soften the blow.
To protect them from pain.
They didn’t get into the college they dreamed of.
They’re reeling from a breakup.
They made a huge mistake and now have to face the consequences.
And you—being the loving, invested, deeply caring parent that you are—want to do what you’ve always done: pick them up, dust them off, and make it okay.
But here's the truth:
That instinct, while well-intentioned, may be one of the reasons they’re not moving forward.
When you keep trying to fix it, you’re doing emotional labor that’s no longer yours to do. You’re unintentionally robbing them of the opportunity to build resilience, develop coping skills, and discover their own sense of direction.
Pain Isn’t the Problem—Avoiding It Is
It’s hard to watch our kids suffer. I get it. But growth doesn’t come from avoiding discomfort. It comes from moving through it.
Your adult child doesn’t need you to save them. They need you to believe they’re capable of saving themselves.
So when they fall—emotionally, academically, relationally—pause before stepping in. Ask yourself: “Is this mine to fix, or theirs to face?”
That one question can change everything.
Struggle Is a Two-Way Growth Opportunity
Yes, your child is learning to handle real-life consequences. But you’re learning too.
You’re learning how to:
- Sit with your discomfort instead of rushing to fix
- Trust their capacity to navigate hard things
- Let go of fear-based parenting and lean into emotional maturity
This work isn’t easy. But it’s powerful.
Parents who are emotionally mature don’t prevent struggle—they respect it. They know it’s a part of becoming. And they model what it means to stay grounded in the face of uncertainty.
So stop dusting them off.
Let them sit with the mess.
Let them feel the weight of their own choices.
Let them rise—on their own timeline, with your steady presence close by.
Need help holding that line and trusting the process?
Join the Empowered Parents of Emerging Adults Support Group for weekly support, encouragement, and tools to stay calm while they grow.
👉 Click here to join. You’ve got this—and they do too.
