What Is Your Emerging Adult Teaching You?

When you're parenting an emerging adult who is struggling, you get to decide what you take away from the experience.

That doesn't mean you wanted this season. It doesn't mean you would have chosen it.

It does mean you have a choice in how this chapter shapes you.

Every day, I work with parents whose adult children are having a difficult time launching into adulthood. Some are underemployed or unemployed. Others dropped out of college, spend most of their time isolated in their rooms, or have completely reversed their sleep schedules. Many are battling anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, or other mental health challenges.

If you're living this reality, please know you're not the only one.

Families all over the world are navigating these same struggles, often feeling isolated and wondering if anyone else understands what they're going through.

Looking Beyond the Struggle

When our adult children are hurting, it's natural to focus all of our attention on fixing the problem.

We spend our energy asking questions like:

• How do I get them motivated?
• How do I convince them to get help?
• How do I get them moving forward?

Those are understandable questions.

But over the years, I've found myself asking a different one.

What is this season teaching me?

That question changed the way I parent.

Growth Doesn't Only Belong to Our Children

We often think parenting is about helping our children grow.

And it is.

Yet sometimes our children become the very people who stretch us the most.

This stage of parenting has challenged me to become more patient. It's taught me how to sit with uncertainty instead of trying to fix it immediately. It's helped me learn how to hold space for someone who isn't ready to accept help, even when every part of me wants to step in.

None of those lessons came easily, though they have made me a stronger parent.

The Opportunity Hidden Inside Hard Seasons

I'm not grateful parents have to watch their emerging adults struggle.

I would never suggest these situations are easy or that you should simply "look on the bright side."

What I am saying is difficult seasons often shape us in ways comfortable seasons never could.

You may find yourself growing in your ability to:

• Stay patient when progress is slow.
• Tolerate fear without reacting impulsively.
• Remain calm in the middle of someone else's emotional storm.
• Love your child without trying to control every outcome.

Those are powerful skills, not only for parenting, but for life.

Let Your Emerging Adult Change You Too

Parents often wonder what they're supposed to teach their emerging adult.

That's an important question.

But perhaps there's another question worth asking.

What is my emerging adult teaching me?

Maybe they're teaching you patience.

Maybe they're teaching you resilience.

Maybe they're teaching you to let go of control and trust that growth often happens more slowly than we'd like.

None of us would choose the difficult seasons.

But we can choose who we become because of them.

If you're navigating this stage of parenting and want practical guidance along the way, I'd love to invite you to join my Empowered Parents of Emerging Adults group. Together, we focus on building healthier relationships through clear boundaries, calm leadership, and supportive community.