When College Isn’t the Path: Supporting Your Emerging Adult's Journey

There’s a message some parent out there needs to hear right now:

Stop forcing your emerging adult to be someone they’re not.

Letting Go of Expectations

You’ve likely invested years preparing your child for college. From academic support to extracurriculars to emotional pep talks, you built a life around what felt like a natural next step: higher education. So when your child tells you that college isn’t for them, at least not right now, it can feel jarring, disappointing, even scary.

But not every emerging adult is wired for college at 18. Some need to explore the world first, experience the workforce, or simply pause and figure out who they are without the pressure of lectures and GPA scores. This isn’t failure, it’s growth, just in a different form.

Zooming Out: This Is Just One Chapter

As hard as it may be, try to zoom out and see the bigger picture. This moment, where they’re questioning school, resisting expectations, or making choices that don’t make sense to you, is a chapter, not the whole book. And like any great story, sometimes the most unexpected plot twists lead to the most meaningful outcomes.

What if this seemingly off-track season is the path toward their purpose? What if the discomfort you feel right now is simply part of watching your child take ownership of their journey?

What Support Can Look Like Instead

You don’t have to agree with or fully understand your emerging adult’s choices in order to support them. The most valuable thing you can offer them in this season is a safe, respectful relationship, one rooted in empathy, not control.

Here are a few ways to do that:

• Listen more than you lecture. Ask curious questions instead of giving constant advice.
• Acknowledge their autonomy. Let them know you trust them to figure things out…even if they stumble.
• Encourage exploration. Help them identify next steps that feel meaningful, like volunteering, working, or learning a skill.
• Stay connected. Keep the relationship strong, even if their life looks different than what you imagined.
• Manage your own discomfort. Notice your fear, but don’t make it their burden to carry.

These simple shifts can build a foundation of trust that will serve your relationship for years to come.

Meet Them Where They Are

Supporting your emerging adult doesn’t mean letting go of all boundaries or dreams, it means letting go of your timeline. It means believing that they are capable of discovering who they are, even if their journey doesn’t follow a straight line.

Grieve the version of the story you had in your head if you need to but don’t let that grief blind you to the real human in front of you. They are not behind. They are not broken. They are becoming.

And your belief in them matters more than you may ever know.

Parenting through this season is hard, but you don’t have to do it alone. Join our Empowered Parents of Emerging Adults group for real-time support, community, and tools to help you stay grounded while your child finds their way.

👉 Click here to join the support group. You don’t have to figure this out alone.