When Your Emerging Adult Isn’t Dating, Should You Be Concerned?
Sep 29, 2025
A parent recently reached out with a question that I hear more often than you might think:
“My daughters are 20 and 23. Neither has ever dated.
They’re kind, capable, independent, and they both live at home while working part-time and attending or searching for school and job opportunities.
They say they’re just not interested in dating right now.
Should I be worried?”
If you’ve wondered the same thing about your own young adult, take a breath because you’re not alone, and this isn’t a red flag.
In fact, this is becoming more common than you might expect.
The Landscape of Dating Is Changing
The idea that your 20s are supposed to be filled with dating, romantic experimentation, and figuring out what you do or don’t want in a partner comes from a cultural norm that’s been shifting for years.
Today’s emerging adults, especially Gen Z, are approaching relationships differently than we did. Studies show they are dating far less frequently than past generations. Instead, they’re focusing on things like:
- Mental health and emotional regulation
- Setting clear boundaries
- Personal development and independence
- Career goals and financial stability
They’re more aware of how much emotional labor goes into a relationship, and many are choosing to establish themselves before they invest that kind of energy in someone else.
This doesn’t mean they’re emotionally immature or commitment-phobic. It means they’re paying attention to what they want, and don’t want, in a way that many of us weren’t even encouraged to consider at that age.
It’s Not a Problem to Solve
These daughters have already shown you something powerful: they’re grounded, thoughtful, and not rushing into anything just to meet expectations. They’re living at home, working, studying, and engaging with life at their own pace. It’s something to celebrate, not stress over.
And here’s the most important part: they’ve told you they’re not interested in dating right now. That’s not avoidance, it’s honesty.
They’re not hiding from intimacy. They’re simply not prioritizing it right now. And that’s okay.
So if you’re wondering, should I bring it up again? Should I encourage them to try dating apps? Should I push them out of their comfort zone?
The answer is no.
What They Need From You Is Trust
You’ve already done the most important thing, you’ve created an open, respectful environment where they can talk about these things without pressure. They know you’re curious and available, but not judgmental. That’s huge.
So now your job is to trust them.
Believe that they will figure out their own timeline.
Have faith that they’ll make meaningful connections when they’re ready.
And keep showing up as the steady, supportive parent you’ve already been.
Ask yourself: What can I really do about this anyway?
The answer: not much, and that’s okay.
Just keep listening. Keep being present. And keep trusting that their story is unfolding exactly as it needs to
Are you navigating a similar situation with your young adult? You’re not the only one. Join the Empowered Parents of Emerging Adults group for honest conversations, steady guidance, and connection with other parents on the same path.
