Why This One Boundary Can Shift Motivation and Momentum

Someone needs to hear this right now, so I’m just going to say it plainly:

Stop funding the phone.

If you have a 20-something under your roof whose days and nights are flipped…
who is under- or unemployed…
who is smoking weed to cope with anxiety…
who spends hours scrolling while life passes by…

And you’re paying for their phone?

You are unintentionally funding the very thing that keeps them stuck.

Why the Phone Matters More Than You Think

That phone isn’t neutral.

It’s feeding them a steady stream of messages that sound like:

• “You’re behind.”
• “You’ll never be able to afford a house.”
• “Everyone else has it figured out except you.”
• “The future is hopeless.”

When an emerging adult already feels overwhelmed, anxious, and discouraged, constant scrolling doesn’t motivate them. It reinforces shutdown.

And when that phone is fully paid for, there’s no pressure to engage with the real world.

You Can’t Fix Everything, But You Can Fix One Thing

This is a complex, multi-layered problem.
There is no single magic solution.

But while you can’t fix everything, you can fix one piece of the puzzle.

You can stop paying for the thing that allows them to escape all day.

If your emerging adult can afford their phone, let them pay for it.
If they can’t afford it, that discomfort becomes information.

And information creates motivation.

Paying for their own phone may be the first reason they have to:

• Get a job
• Increase hours
• Re-engage with responsibility

That’s not punishment. That’s preparation.

This Is About Boundaries, Not Control

Stopping phone payments isn’t about being harsh. It’s about being intentional.

You’re not taking the phone away. You’re simply saying:

“This is something adults are responsible for funding themselves.”

That’s a reasonable, developmentally appropriate boundary.

And for many families, it’s the first boundary that begins to shift the entire dynamic.

What I See Again and Again

The one thing I see in common with many stuck emerging adults?

A phone that’s always there.
Scrolling that never stops.
Information that fuels anxiety, comparison, and hopelessness.

Removing that constant input doesn’t solve everything, but it often opens the door to movement.

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

If you’re afraid of setting boundaries…
if you’re worried about how your child will react…
if you’re exhausted from carrying the financial and emotional load…

This is exactly the work I do with parents.

If you’re ready to stop funding stuckness and start creating forward momentum, I invite you to join my Empowered Parents of Emerging Adults group.

Join the Empowered Parents of Emerging Adults group for guidance, clarity, and support.