Parents often say to me, “My 20-something just doesn’t respect me anymore.”

And the first thing I tell them is this: respect is not something you can lecture your way into.

You don’t fix a respect problem with a speech. You fix it with behavior.

That may not be the answer parents want to hear, bu...

I was talking with a mom recently who shared a moment that many parents can probably relate to.

She asked her 24-year-old son, who lives at home, to take the garbage cans out for the next morning’s pickup.

It was a simple request. Something she had asked him to do many times before.

He immediatel...

Parents ask me this question all the time.

“My emerging adult is anxious. I don’t know if I should push them or back off.”

It’s a fair question. When you see your son or daughter struggling with anxiety or depression, every instinct in you wants to help. You want to protect them from stress, disap...

Parents often come to me feeling completely overwhelmed by the relationship they have with their emerging adult.

They are trying to manage the mood swings, influence decisions, solve problems, and motivate progress. They are carrying emotional stress, financial pressure, and the constant worry that...

I’ve been talking about collaborative problem solving and collaborative conversations for a long time now, because this is where real change happens.

At some point, parents have to step out of the role of constantly figuring out:

• What’s the next step?
• What’s the consequence?
• How do I fix this ...

If you’ve had a blow-up with your adult child and now the house feels tense, quiet, or icy, listen up. This is usually the moment when parents unintentionally make things worse.

They:

• Lecture
• Chase their child for resolution
• Or act like nothing happened

And while all of those reactions make...